On wednesday January 3rd, I was lucky enough to be asked to record a set for XM radio at the Laugh Resort in Toronto. I thought this was going to be perfect. XM radio, no censorship, I can do what I want, how I want and get a little exposure at the same time. How much exposure? I don't know even 1 person that has a satellite radio.

It was a stacked night with some of the best pros in the country doing 10 min each, including, Jim Macalese, Fraser Young, Jay Malone and Debra Digiovani.

I was on 10th out of 10 comics, which means I didn't take the stage until 1 hour and 45 min into the show. I ate it. I got a couple of good laughs, but a couple of good laughs in 10min feels like shit.

Fraser Young had a wonderful set, he always has a wonderful set. The only thing preventing him from being a star is the $10,000 penalty charged to enter a country that actually rewards talent. The problem is that living in a country whos number 1 commodity is apathy, $10, 000 might as well be $10 000 000.

You always know when you do shitty because audience members and other comics approach you after the show with ready made excuses. "The audience was tired", "You were nervous", "the guy before you, brought down the room" All of these are bullshit. As Seinfeld said in Comedian after going on after a headliner in a New York Club around midnight. "If it's good, its good." I was the problem. The audience, tired or not, was not the problem. It was my fault. I wasn't nervous, but I stumbled over lines, and was shaken when my first joke about prideful fat girls didn't work. At that moment I remember thinking to myself, "Great, finally an uncensored radio taping and I get a CBC audience." I wasn't prepared and I lost focus because I arrived at 8pm and didn't take the stage until 11:30pm. In 3 hours, I tend to drift off, not pay attention, drink, talk and grow tired. If I focused like an athlete going into game 7 overtime, I would have killed. I'm getting too complacent. I need to be shaken out of my comfort zone, the way I take pride in shaking my audience out of their comfort zone. I'll be back, I just hope XM radio will too.

My advantage has always been hating the culture in which I live, now I, like my fellow Canadians, have become indifferent to the vapid culture and on some level have either joined them, by playing mainstream comedy clubs or have avoided them by sleeping, drinking, and withdrawing. I need to once again come face to face with everything I hate. I've been here before so luckily I know how to get the hate back. I will read some Anne Rice, watch 10 episodes of Friends, listen to some Andrei Bocceli or Josh Groban, eat at Mcdonalds, ride the bus through a wealthy neighborhood and go to a fashion show and a country music festival. If that doesn't make me hate, if that doesn't fill me with bile that I can later spit on the front row of a show, nothing will.

The trite that passes as quality is incomprehensible to me and I guess like a child who has been raped, my subconscous is trying to protect me by developing a second boring and harmless personality.

If you have any articles I can read about how important fashion is or how funny Friends is or about how honest, heartfelt, touching and emotional a country singer who sings formulaic songs not even written by him is, please send them to: andrew@angryandrew.com If it inspires me. like I know it will, I will record how the garbage in created the gold that comes out, and I will send you a copy. I will be forever greatful. I haven't been called a nihilist in a while, as a person it feels pretty good, but as an artist, that bothers me.


Here is Fraser's site: www.youngfraser.com
Here is my site: www.angryandrew.com